Want Your Marriage to Succeed?

In life when two people get married I'm sure they would want it to succeed. When two people unite, I'm positively sure it's not with divorce in mind. But in the society we live in, divorce have become so common and as mentioned in my previous post "Threats in a Marriage", you would learn the various reasons that can drive two people apart. Just remember, marriage isn't the problem, it is the individuals inside the marriage that create problems and allow it to affect their relationship. Maintaining a happy and healthy marriage takes a lot of hard work and commitment. If you want to save your marriage, well then take into consideration the following.

Saving Your Marriage

Want your marriage to succeed? Want to enjoy the fruits of marriage? Want to feel loved and happy? Well if you take into consideration the following tips, I'm sure you would enjoy a happy and healthy marriage.

• Develop a connection with God, a family that prays together stays together.
• Pray not only for yourself but for your family and spouse. Pray that God always blesses them with strength, prosperity and health.
• Made a mistake? Well then seek forgiveness and try not to repeat the mistake again.
• Grant Forgiveness. If your spouse has hurt you or made a mistake, grant forgiveness as soon as possible, so both of you can start mending your relationship.
• One of the key tools in a marriage is Communication. Learn to communicate effectively and positively. 
• Respect each other
•  Set Boundaries when it comes to social networking, friends, and in laws.
• Function as a team. Just remember a marriage takes two especially when it comes to parenting. Consult each other before you make a decision.
• Treat your spouse as your best friend.
• Forget the past and live in the present.
• Appreciate what you have and don't compare yourself to others.
• Be affectionate. Work on increasing your love and understanding for each other.
• Have kids and too much responsibilities?  Well try not to let it affect your relationship you share with your spouse. Try to make time for your spouse each day.
• Be fair to each other. Share the responsibilities evenly. 
• Love unconditionally. Love is good for the heart. It relieves stress, lowers blood pressure, calms one nerves and make the blood flow more freely.

Just remember if you want your marriage to last forever, treat it differently. Always try to protect it.

Threats in a Marriage

 No marriage is a perfect, and just like every situation we are faced with in our lives, there are things that can prove to be either an opportunity or a threat to married couples. Whilst a marriage may be a sacred institution blessed by God, for it to be successful it is integral both husband and wife be able to counteract the major threats to a marriage. Following below are ten major threats to a marriage which can destroy this beautiful bond.

1) Difference in Values

As individuals, our values are different due to our upbringings. Instilled and rooted within us are the values thought to us from our parents. In marriages, no couple would have the exact same values, however they may have common values which can prove to be a deal breaker. However for those marriages and couples whose values differ considerably, this can prove to create obstacles. Difference in values can lead to arguments and differences in expectations. Not only can this prove to create conflict but it can result in two people drifting away from each other as they realize their goals and dreams are different. It is important to note, that in a marriage one shall not demand the other party to change. Instead couples can seek marriage counseling and learn to talk to their partners and come to a mutual understanding. Communication is most important.

2) Financial Problems

 

Can financial problems prove to negatively affect a marriage? Can it drive two people apart? Well i believe couples facing extended financial downturns can drift apart from each other. You are probably wondering how can this possibly happen and thinking to yourself couples facing financial problems should be able to come together to fix their problems. But believe it or not, there are couples who have gotten divorced due to extreme cases of financial issues. Not only can financial problems result in high levels of stress but it can create differences amongst married couples. Difference in spending and savings can prove to create conflict amongst couples. And as mentioned in many occasions couples who constantly fight eventually become distant from each other.

3) Religion

Believe it or not, religion on the whole have proven to be a major threat to marriages. However it is important to note, one's religion should not be the cause for a marriage to break up or face problems. But in the society we live in, people make religion into a huge issue. Not only does it create obstacles in marriages but it also prevents two people from getting married. This issue is highly prevalent in the eastern part of the world. One's religion should not be an issue when it comes to marriages.There is one God, we just have our differing ways of praying to him.

4) Greed for Money

There are people in this world, who get married for the sole purpose of acquiring wealth, property and status. And if their partner is unable to fulfill this wish or desire of theirs, they leave. Just like that they file for divorce and leave their spouse. Money is a necessity in our lives but it doesn't make you happy. It may give you all the material things you desire but it cannot build a relationship. Just remember when we die rich or poor our graves will be the same.

5) Cultural Patterns

Differing cultures, different way of doing things can eventually affect a relationship. Differing cultural patterns can eventually lead to disagreements and conflict amongst married couples. Some people usually try to do things the way they were thought or how their parents usually do it. Couples should try to come to a mutual understanding and develop new way of doing things that would please them both.

6) Dwelling in the Past

Dwelling in the past can get you no where. It may remind you of things that happened and things that may have hurt you. But if you are constantly reflecting on the past and not letting go of hurt experiences, it can negatively affect your present and your future. Fear of getting hurt again will eventually distant you from your spouse both emotionally and physically. Dwelling in the past is unhealthy for a marriage.

7) Extramarital Affairs

One spouse's urge to escape from reality and seek fulfillment from another person other than their wife or husband can eventually destroy a marriage. However it is understandable people make mistakes and if you want your marriage to work, learn to forgive your spouse and try to keep them happy so they wouldn't have the need to look for love on the outside. But if it continues to happen, well the best thing to do is leave, no one deserves to be constantly cheated on.

8)Selfishness

Selfishness is yet another threat that can severely hamper one's relationship. We are all selfish in our own ways, but too much of it can destroy your marriage. Selfishness can come in many destructive forms which includes control, manipulation ,jealously, possessiveness, demand and abuse in order to get their own way. It robs a marriage of its romance, happiness and love. Just remember a marriage takes two and it is important couples learn to accept each other. For a marriage to work, there is no room for Selfishness.

9) In Laws

 

We have all heard stories of one in laws can negatively affect a marriage. I'm sure some of you have also experienced instances where your spouse's family members have created obstacles in your married life. The impact one in laws have on a marriage is as strong as the couple allow it to be. For a marriage to be healthy one has to be able to draw boundaries between themselves and their in laws. Also if something makes you uncomfortable, be sure to speak to your spouse about it. In laws are important when it comes to building a family however try to keep your in laws at a arm's length. Don't discuss your marriage with them and don't allow them to come between you and your spouse.

10) Destructive Habits

Destructive habits and addiction can create obstacles in your marriage. Lying to your spouse, keeping secrets from them, deceiving them and doing things that can hurt them will be the cause for your relationship to fail. Destructive habits such as drinking, gambling and smoking can also affect your relationship in many ways. Seek help if you realize you have a problem that can ruin your married life.


DON'T LET ANY OF THE ABOVE REASONS BE THE CAUSE FOR YOUR MARRIAGE TO FAIL

A Broken Heart

Suffering a heartbreak can be one of the most hurtful feeling one can ever experience. It can destroy a person's life and make them do the unthinkable. When one experiences a heartbreak they begin to feel like their entire life has been shattered. Not only do they experience excruciating pain, sadness, depression and hurt but suffering a broken heart makes one lose hope. Everyone wants to be loved and everyone wants to be happy but life is such an unpredictable thing, you will never know what situation you will be faced with that could snatch your happiness away. Falling in love is so simple but falling out of it is unbelievably awful. Never let one bad experience ruin your life, always have faith in humanity and believe you can be happy again. Never give up on life, never lose hope and just remember God will never give you what you cannot handle. Remember Love still exists.

Mending a Broken Heart

 Can a broken heart be mended? Can we truly love again? How can we possibly forget the one we loved? How can we possibly forget the memories of our past? I'm sure these are the questions we ask ourselves when we have either suffered a heartbreak or suffering one. Yes a broken heart maybe hard to fix and its difficult to forget the past. But no one is asking you to forget the past. Always remember what your past has thought you, learn from your mistakes and try to avoid repeating anything that can result in a heartbreak.

The only way you can really mend a broken heart is to actually go through the heartbreak, don't try to do things that will prevent you from feeling the pain. Yes it sounds horrible, but try not to suffocate your feelings because it may affect you later on. If you want to cry, just cry, don't hold back. List your strengths and weaknesses, analyze the situation and attempt to figure out whether or not you were responsible for your own pain. Detach yourself from the relationship completely, if it cannot work don't try to force something to work out, because in the long run both parties would not be happy. Mending a broken heart is difficult but its not impossible. Live life and occupy yourself with the things you enjoy doing. Just remember don't go looking for love, it will come to you.

 

 

The Power of A "Horn"

Well well well, here is an interesting topic "the power of a horn". And folks you all know i am not talking about the regular car horn we use on a daily basis. I'm talking about the kind of horn you give when you are being unfaithful to your spouse or partner. 

Why do people cheat or horn? There are many reasons behind why this infidelity takes place.
It can be out of greed, selfishness, hurt, spite, differences etc, people horn for many reasons.
It can be a one time mistake that was made out of poor judgement or something that one does on a regular basis and not give a care about their partners. 

But the day will come when they would care, that day would be when their loved one walks out their life forever. There will come a day when its too late and impossible for the one they love to forgive them. There will come a day when the poor judgement or greed for other women and men will shatter their relationships so badly it would be impossible to put the pieces back together. 

But lets really pause for a moment and think, think about why this really takes place. What possible reason can push a person to cheat on their loved ones? And the answer my friends lies within your relationship. There is something in your relationship that may have happened or is happening that would result in this act. The number one reasons why people cheat are linked to unhappiness, lack of sex and lack of emotional intimacy wit their partners. However this doesn't give them the right to be unfaithful. No matter how unhappy or stressed one is in a relationship, the first and foremost thing to do is to talk to their partners about their problems and try to work it out. If one resolves to cheating it can mash up the sacred bond you share and eliminate the chances of you working out that relationship. 


But just remember if you could give horn, I hope you could take it.

Loving Your Partner

In an earlier post, i spoke about what is love. Love is what brings two people together and its is vital for the success of a marriage or relationship. Loving your partner is not just about saying " i love you:", it's about doing the things to make that person feel loved. Saying "i love you' means nothing if you can't show it. There are many things that one can do to say "i love you" without really having to say i love you, if you know what i mean.

 Ten Ways to Show Your Love

Expressing your love does not require spending a lot of money or doing something fancy all the time. The simple things you do for someone is sufficient enough to show them your love for them. Following below are ten ways you can show your love towards your spouse or partner.


1) Spending Quality Time Together: Set aside time to spend with the one you love. 

2) Be Affectionate- all marriages and relationships need that emotional safety and acceptance. Kisses and hugs from your spouse or your partner is the sweetest thing out.

3) Flowers- Once in a while you can send flowers to your partner's workplace. Now i know some of you may be thinking this comment is directed to the guys. But who says a woman can't send flowers for a guy.

4) Date Nights- i know most married couples barely have date nights, but date nights are fun. Set aside at least a few days in the month where you both can go out and have some fun.

5) Share Your Feelings- sharing your feelings and your thoughts with your partner reassures them they are needed by you.

6) Breakfast in Bed- Surprise your loved one with breakfast in bed.

7) Chores- Offer to do their share of the chores ever so often, especially the ones they hate doing.

8) Candle Light Dinner- surprise your other half with a candle light dinner prepared with their favorite dishes.

9)  Remind them that you love them- yes it is important to show them you love them, but its nice to hear it ever so often.

10) Introduce them- Introduce your partner to the people in your life like your coworkers, family and friends. Show them you are proud to have them stand by your side and ensure they feel welcomed.

The Importance of Trust in a Marriage

Marriage and Trust 

 

 What is trust? Trust develops when someone strongly believes in something or someone no matter what anyone says. It is one of the key ingredients that protects and holds a marriage together, without it marriages are bound to face problems. A marriage lacking trust is good as a failed one. Remember if you don't trust someone how can you possibly display affection towards them. A relationship without trust would suffer from hurt, anger, disloyalty, cheating, abuse and many more. Trust is knowing that your future is in safe hands with the one that you have chosen to commit to. Its knowing that you are loved and that person would not dare do anything to hurt you.

Why do People Lose Trust?

 

Trust is lost when someone betrays another person. It becomes difficult to trust a person when they have disappointed you, especially when you expected better from them. Not only can one lose trust when someone lies, but trust can also be broken through disloyalty, deceit, destructive habits, selfishness and addiction. Once this trust is broken, it becomes very difficult to rebuild it. 

Don't betray the one you Love

 

Now many relationships suffer from trust issues and it is understandable judging from the things that are taking place in today's society. If your love one breaks your trust, it doesn't mean they don't love you, so don't run at the first chance you get. People often make mistakes when they can not differentiate from right and wrong, good or bad. So this is your opportunity to guide them and show them the right part. Do not try to get even or betray their trust, because then you will be no better than them. But folks try not to betray the trust of the one you love, it is the most unbearable and heart wrenching feeling to see the one you love walk out your life. Just remember it takes a lifetime to develop trust but seconds to shatter it.

Is your Marriage Sex Deprived?

SEX & MARRIAGE

  

We are all adults here, and we all know what sex is. Sex is the act of engaging in physical intercourse with the opposite sex, and in some cases the same sex. But how important is sex in a marriage? Can a sex deprived marriage be the cause for a marriage to fail? Well I believe a marriage lacking that intimate connection can ultimately fail. Not only would couples drift apart from each other but a marriage lacking sex can lead to conflict and extramarital affairs. It is obvious if a marriage is lacking sex, your partner can result to searching for that connection on the outside, no one wants this but it does happen.

WHY DO MARRIAGES LACK SEX?

Are you encountering problems in your marriage because of sex? Are you dissatisfied with your sex life with your spouse? Well you're not alone, there are many reasons why married couples encounter these problems. Following below are a few reasons why marriages lack sex.

1) Conflict and Abuse- Continuous conflict, abuse and misunderstandings amongst married couples can lead to dissatisfaction in their sex life.

2) Lack of Trust- Marriages lacking trust will ultimately suffer both on an emotional and physical level. Any spouse who mistrusts their other half will not desire to be with him or her intimately as they would fear that they may be cheating.

3)Too much Commitments- How can this affect your sex life? Well when you have too much responsibilities, you often get engrossed and tired trying to accomplish these, from going to work and running behind the kids. You often find yourself "too tired" for anything else and avoid being with your spouse in an intimate sense.



4) Unattractive Spouse- now this may sound shallow and beauty is about whats on the inside and not the outside. But face it, if you have yourself looking unattractive, over weight and unappealing, your spouse may not find you desirable.

THE IMPORTANCE OF SEX IN A MARRIAGE

Is sex important in a marriage? The answer is yes and I am positive you all would agree. It is one of the most vital aspect in a marriage and is the only thing you share with your husband and wife alone, unless you sharing it with someone else other than your spouse which is a big no no. Couples lacking sex in their married lives can be considered none other than roommates. Sex is important as it adds to your relationship a profound connection between each other filled with desire and passion. It brings couples closer and strengthens their relationship both on an emotional and physical level. 

TIPS FOR MARRIED COUPLES

Are you experiencing problems in your sex life? Well here a a few tips that can help improve your intimate life with your spouse.

1) Spice it Up- You can try something different, don't do the same old boring thing all the time. Perhaps you can try role play or go to a nice romantic resort for the weekend. Do something that can add zest to your relationship.

2) Accessorize- This one is for the ladies, you can tantalize your husband by accessorizing with lingerie and jewelry.

3) Keep fit- this is for both husband and wife. Exercising is not only beneficial for your health but it helps keep your body in shape. This is vital as it helps you look attractive and gain the body your spouse can't have enough of.

4) Don't be Lazy- if your spouse wants sex, give it to them cause you wouldn't want them looking for it on the outside.

5) Share your thoughts- if there is something you like or dislike share it with your spouse. Effective communication inside and outside the bedroom is vital for a healthy marriage.

6) Be romantic- Always try to be romantic and loving towards your spouse, this helps increase that intimate connection you share with each other.

Hope you enjoyed reading this post. If i missed anything please feel free to share in the comment box below.

The Impact Social Networking has on Your Marriage

What is Social Networking?

 We all know what social networking is, we use almost everyday our lives. Social networking has become such an integrated aspect of our lives, we use it to interact with people all around the world, both on a personal and professional basis. And as technology continuously advances, it becomes difficult to stay away from it, its easily accessible in our phones, our television sets, our laptops even our watches, amazing isn't it? But for those who don't know what it is, lets just define it for their sakes. Social networking can be defined as a "social platform" service whereby people build social relations among people who share common interests, activities, photos, real life etc. Compared to a couple years ago, social networking as we know it today has made interaction with the outside world so much simpler. But whilst social networking can prove beneficial to us it can also create obstacles for some, especially married couples. 

How can social networking affect your marriage?

The use of social sites and platforms have proven to bring people closer together, but believe it or not it has also proven to drift many people apart. Once used properly, it shouldn't cause any harm but over using it can proven disastrous for relationships. Can the use of social networking really cause problems for a married couple? Well my friends, the answer is yes. There is nothing wrong in using social sites to keep in contact with your loved ones and meet new friends but one has to know their limits. Over abuse of these sites can create problems in your marriage such as conflict, trust issues etc. Sitting hours behind the computer or on your phone engaging yourself in conversations with friends and family can make your spouse feel neglected and hurt. It can become the cause for conflict in your marriage and make your spouse even doubt your intentions.

Meeting new friends who share common goals and interests is nice. It's nice to have someone to talk about the things we like, but engaging in conversations especially with the opposite sex can get out of control.When you engage in conversations with the opposite sex, especially with someone who is not related to you, it can eventually lead to intimate conversations and emotional attachments without you even noticing it. And before you even realize it, you are sharing your life stories with this person more than your own spouse. Engaging in such conversations can lead to emotional attachments which can prove to cloud your judgment. You may even agree to start video chatting, talking on the phone etc.and before you know it, you're cheating and you eventually drift away from the one you truly love.

I'm not saying this happens with everyone, but trust me it does happen. Now the person who is over using the social sites may not necessarily be the one doing anything wrong, but does your wife or husband know this. They may believe that you are and it can create conflict as i mentioned before. It can also push your neglected spouse to search for the attention on the the outside. So my friends please learn to use these sites appropriately. A piece of advice for all married couples, set some boundaries when it comes to social networking. Don't let the negative effects of it hamper your relationship.

  

Honouring Your Wedding Vows

The Vow

The exchange of wedding vows is an essential part of a wedding ritual. It is a very romantic moment and often the ideal place to convey your feelings towards your future spouse in the presence of your dear ones. Finding the right words to say and writing the perfect vows takes time and effort. It appears harder than it seems, but the true challenge comes after the big day has gone, when everything is back to normal and your lives have begun as one. Can you truly honor your wedding vows?

 The Challenge 

 

As time flashes before us, it can be seen in many homes the importance of honoring wedding vows is disappearing. But why is this happening? Couples are fighting, cheating, getting divorced etc, but why are couples unable to truly honor their vows? There are various reasons why this may happen, which I cannot really say for sure. But my guess is, couples nowadays have become so engrossed in their own lives they may have forgotten the significance of these vows. I know it must be very difficult to truly honor these vows, with a job, kids, bills, other commitments etc, but you have to try. If you fail to try, your marriage would become a binding contract where you both agree to do things for each other, like the wife will agree to cook and take care of the household activities whilst the husband will agree to see about the garden etc. This is not how it suppose to be but shockingly this is what is taking place in today's society. The importance of honoring your wedding vows is crucial to the survival of your marriage and the growth of a healthy family.  Don’t let your vows become part of a contract, make it a part of your daily routine and see how it would change your lives for the better. Don't do something because you have to, do it because you want to.

The Wedding Proposal

The Proposal 

The wedding proposal, its that one event of our lives that we hope to be one of the most perfect and memorable days that we would experience. Its where one proposes and asks for another person's hand in "marriage". Usually we would hope this is something that would only occur once in our lives. Its that one day that marks the beginning of a new chapter in our lives. The wedding proposal marks the initiation of an engagement between two people, providing the person who is being proposed to "Accepts". Traditionally, the guy is the one that usually asks for the girl's hand in marriage, but as time progresses we can see a shift in traditions. Can you believe, women have now started doing the "proposing". Whilst this is very rare and i don't see anything wrong in it, i still prefer being a little old school when it comes to things like this.  

  The Perfect Proposal

 Racking your brains on how to propose to the women you love or the guy you love. Well rack no further. Below i have provided the basics of a romantic and perfect proposal. Before making a decision, take into consideration the type of person your partner to be. Think about what the person likes, for example if your partner is not comfortable in crowded places, proposing in a restaurant in front of a lot people might be a bad idea. You may consider proposing in a secluded place where your fiance to be, might feel more comfortable. 

 Romantic Proposals

This is one of the most popular choices of wedding proposals where you can pour your heart out to your partner. Now most romantic proposals are usually done in a similar manner, to make yours special, ensure you make it as unique as possible and add a few extra personalized touches. Some of the basics in creating the most romantic wedding proposal are as follows:

1) Choose a favorite place- ensure the place you choose has a significance to both of you. If you're choosing a restaurant, you can have someone decorate the place to accommodate the event with candles and flowers. 

2) Music- if you can afford, you can have musicians serenade your wife or husband to be, singing one of your favorite songs. If not, ensure you have one of your favorite songs playing when you do decide to go on your knees. 

3) Champagne or Wine- Order a bottle of the finest champagne to celebrate the occasion.

4) Flowers- Flowers is a must for such an occasion, preferably red roses which symbolizes love.

5) Desserts- You can include something sweet for such a joyous occasion.

6) The Ring- Don't forget the ring, what is a proposal without the ring? A ring may be a fine piece of jewelry, but when someone gives you a ring, they are giving away to you their life with utmost trust. They are giving you the opportunity to start life afresh with them. Make sure and get the perfect ring that would make your day most memorable, it doesn't have to be the most expensive ring, once you give it with all your heart that is all that should matter.

Whilst there are other ways of proposing such as hilarious ways, adventurous and spontaneous, i believe a romantic proposal is always the best way to go. The perfect wedding proposal, how would you do it?

 

LOVE

In Love

What is love?

 There are many kinds of love, but a love between a husband and wife is one of the most special bonds. Love has no boundaries, where there is love, there is life, and a relationship without any love is bound to suffer. Love never fails, its when you can do anything just to spend time with that one special person. Love is when you find that one person who you adore more than anything in this world. Its when that one person means the world to you and you being able to share your world with that person.

 It's about getting joy in doing something for the person you're with. It's about sacrifices, dedication and commitment. Love is when you blindly trust that person with your life and know that they wouldn't let any harm come to you. It's an amazing feeling to love someone unconditionally and have someone love you back in the same manner. This is the kind of love that married couples should share, selfless love. If everyone could love so deeply our world, our homes and our futures would be as bright as the sun. People could do anything in the name of love, so never make the mistake of pushing someone away who would love you forever.

How do you know it's love?

I know I love you because I can’t seem to stop caring,

I Know I love you because I’ve become lost in your beautiful memories.

I know I love you because I grieve for you when you’re away from me,

My life, my emotions, my actions have become revolved around you,

My heart is not in my control anymore.

I Know I love you because I can’t stop thinking of you,

Day and night you have taken over my thoughts,

I love your smile, I love your touch, I even love the way you smell,

All I know is I’m deeply in love with you.

And I wish to spend the rest of my life building a future with you.
That's how i know it's Love.